The Angst Fairy
by Kabuki Salamander
Summary: Trowa has problems with fanfic cliches, and Quatre, doll that he is, gives him some advice.


**The Angst Fairy** (ficlet)  
Pairing: 3+4, hinted 6x13  
shounen-ai, humour, fluff; retarded cliche parody

Somewhat of a birthday ficlet - I'd dedicated this one to trowacko. *loves* (one of my favorite writers pretty much ever).

Originally posted... um... (*checks*) 10/20/2001.

* * *

Quatre was walking through the park one sunny afternoon, whistling merrily to himself with his hands shoved in his pockets. It hadn't been a great day, but it was mild enough to keep his spirits somewhat intact. The weather was beautiful and there were birds in the leafy green trees and butterflies fluttering past him, showing off their myriad colors like a school boy in heat.

As he was examining a large pretty pink wildflower, he heard a muffled sob and distinct sound of tears coming from behind him. Turning, he saw the crouched figure of a boy sitting on one of the park benches, crying to himself with his eyes in his palms.

"Trowa?" Quatre approached him hesitantly.

"Oh, hi there, little one. What's up?" Trowa wiped his eyes as he turned his head towards the blond. With the sleeve of his turtleneck, he wiped away a bubble of snot that was dangerously close to dribbling onto on his upper lip. He sniffled hard to get his air passage unclogged, and making a face in disgust, he leaned over the bench to spit a looge out in the grass.

"What's wrong?" Quatre asked.

"I'm so stressed out, my angel. You, Heero, Wufei, and Nichol have all raped me today. Catherine poisoned my soup as I was injured, and I reminisced about my deep dark past. I also watched you die in my arms after OZ soldiers stabbed you. Shot you. Tortured you. And so on. It's just been a shitty day. Not even any sex besides some non-con shit, and once with my sister by someone who didn't bother with learning my background. No hot boy humping. Not one bit." Trowa frowned in dismay - fanfic authors were shitting on him! "What have I done to deserve this!" he suddenly cried out to the heavens.

Quatre sat down beside Trowa, who put his arm around his tiny waist out of habit.

"Well, I fell in love with Dorothy while Britney Spears played on in the background in _italics_, and I had to help you cope with being raped as a child a few times. I've been killed by several various objects, just as you said, and I've cried more times than I can count. Why am I always crying? I have no idea. I guess girls think blonds look better when they cry. But I digress. you shouldn't let it get to you. Try worrying about the things that you **can** change. Like socks, for instance."

Trowa looked at Quatre with admiring eyes, "Oh, little one, you rock. How do you stay so optimistic? Paxil? Lithium? Prozac? ... Cocaine?"

"The Angst Fairy!"

"The Angst Fairy?"

"Yeah, you put your angst under the pillow, and the Angst Fairy will come and leave a surprise for you in the night."

"Ah... ok."

* * *

Later on that night before Trowa went to bed, he put all of his angst underneath his pillow. Then, he settled in to read "Dragons of Summer Flame" by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman for about an hour and a half or so before he finally dozed off, dreaming of Palin Majere sporting a pompadour and wearing a bikini.

After some amount of time passed, a high-pitched giggle came from outside Trowa's window. A shadowy figure approached and stuck their face against the glass, peering inside. They struggled for a moment, trying to push the fucker open, until finally it gave way and Zechs tumbled inside and landed on his face.

"Shit," he said, and brushed off his pink tutu. Straightening his tiara, he picked up his wand and shook it a few times to see if it was still operational. It emitted a shower of gold sparks, and pleased with himself, he crept over to the bed silently.

Zechs shook with glee when he saw all of Trowa's angst. _'This boy is going to get something real good!' _he thought, and then began to rummage through his knapsack for the treat.

* * *

"Trowa! Did you get anything good from The Angst Fairy?" Quatre asked Trowa the next morning, waking him up from a dream about a dragon in combat boots.

"Uhh, I dunno. I haven't looked yet."

He put his hand under his pillow and grasped onto a photograph. He looked at it for a second.

"Well, what is it?" Quatre asked, trying to sneak a look at the picture.

"Uh… It's a picture of a large penis... autographed by Treize Khushrenada. Hmmm... yeah. Uh. Gee. Thanks Angst Fairy. Just what I, um... always wanted."

_Fin._


End file.
